To Save a Savior
by alliluna
Summary: Matthew Crawley is trying to leave behind the life he was so assured that he would have. Emma Swan is trying to live her life the only way she knows how. When they meet, it isn't always easy, especially with Matthew's past love and a secret that Emma is hiding. But the savior and the heir will try their best to find a way.
1. Chapter 1

_This series of drabbles was originally posted on tumblr, and as it is turning into something of a saga, I decided to post them on here as well. These are dedicated to broadwaybaggins who prompts me for these two a lot. Please review (the few of you who read OUAT/Downton crossovers) and enjoy!_

* * *

The music was nice enough, but nothing special. Emma Swan leaned against the wall and yawned. It was warm in the ballroom of Grantham house, and she was bored. After weeks and weeks of balls after balls, even the most elaborate music and dancing seemed commonplace.

Her eyes were drawn to Sybil, who was grinning, dancing in the arms of a tall, handsome young man. Tom Bellasis. Sybil had introduced her to him earlier, and the two seemed a natural pair.

It was times like this when Emma wished that she had a more appealing personality. She and Sybil were close, but Emma had few friends, and at gatherings like this, it was difficult to fit in.

"You're Emma Swan, am I right?"

Emma glanced to her right and saw a man there, with hair that was too messy for a high society event and a smile that put her on edge. "Yes, I'm her... And you are?"

"Walsh. James Walsh but everyone refers to me as Walsh. Are you feeling lonely?"

She appreciated the gesture, but Walsh made her uncomfortable. A feeling that she could not describe was settling into her stomach. She cast her eyes downward and shook her head. "Not lonely. Just alone."

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"Not always."

Walsh didn't take the subject any further. "You know Miss Swan, I've been doing some fascinating research on monkeys. There is a laboratory studying them in Kansas. I've been doing regular correspondence and..."

Emma wasn't sure how she had gotten into this conversation, but she leaned against the wall once again and closed her eyes, sighing. The sound of Walsh's voices turned to white noise, and Emma wished she could be somewhere else. Anywhere but here, being lonely and listening to a random man drone on about monkeys and Kansas.

"Excuse me Emma, but didn't you say you would dance this one with me?"

She opened her eyes and saw two bright blue ones looking back at her. It was a man she didn't recognize, but he obviously knew her. His expression implored her to play along, and so she said, "Oh yes, of course," and allowed him to take her hand as they went out on the dance floor.

"It would be nice if you could actually tell me who you are..." Emma said, examining the man who she was dancing with.

"Oh, um, of course," he fumbled, and Emma had to smile. No matter who he was, he was rather adorable. "I'm Matthew," he explained. "Matthew Crawley."

Emma looked over him. "Related to Sybil, by any chance?"

"A distant cousin. That's the only reason I'm here," he admitted. "I almost didn't want to come, but Sybil wanted me to. She suggested that I save you from that other man... You looked rather uncomfortable."

"I was, actually. I don't know why he wanted to start talking to me, about monkeys of all things, but he did, and I couldn't really leave, could I? I had no where else to go."

He nodded and they twirled around. Matthew almost tripped over Emma's foot. "Oh, I'm so sorry, please forgive me..." He apologized quickly.

Emma almost had to laugh. He seemed very sweet, and she almost felt envious of Sybil, having such a nice cousin. Her surrogate cousins were never very kind. "Don't worry about it. I'm fairly clumsy as well."

"I'm not usually, but maybe I had too much to drink. I am a little bit lightheaded," he said, allowing a concerned expression to etch itself in his features. "Don't worry about me, I'll be perfectly alright. So you're friends with Sybil?"'

"Oh, yes. We've known each other since we were little, and we're both interested in politics, so we've grown closer over the years. Sybil is one of the few people that can actually stand me," Emma said, with a faked eye roll. The words stung, however.

Matthew shook his head. "I can stand you. From the little I know, I think you're a very interesting person."

"Well, at least that's someone," Emma said. "I think the song is over," she remarked.

He stepped back and smiled at her. "Well, thank you for the dance, Miss Swan."

"Thank you... for saving me," she replied, watching as he left.

She found herself standing next to Sybil, who nudged her shoulder. "So Matthew saved you? Like I told him to?"

"Yes, and I'm jealous that you have such nice cousins," Emma stated, watching the dance floor. Matthew was dancing again, with Sybil's older sister Mary.

Sybil raise her eyebrows. "Well, don't set your sights on him. He's engaged. Or almost..."

It was all Emma could do not to exclaim 'What!' in shock, despite the fact that she had no right to be shocked. "Who is he engaged to?"

"He proposed to Mary..." Sybil said. "She hasn't given him an answer yet, but I'm hoping and guessing she'll say yes. They didn't like each other when they first met but now... I think she really does love him, and usually it's hard to tell with Mary. But Matthew brings out the good in her, I think."

Emma nodded, sighing. "I guess for Mary, that's a good thing."

"It is." Sybil patted her friend's arm and gave her a tight smile. "Don't worry, you'll find someone."

"I never said I wouldn't," Emma said. "Besides, is it like me to fall hopelessly in love? Of course not."

It was a couple months later when Emma received a letter from Sybil.

_Emma,_

_I suppose you're also worried about the war. It seems like that's all anyone talks about these days. Our family is worried, especially because Matthew enlisted. He and Mary fell out, and..._


	2. Chapter 2

Emma was tired of London, tired of all the hustle and bustle, but it was better than being at the house of her family. Better than being ostracized because she wasn't truly one of them. But she still wouldn't have minded a couple days or weeks out in the country, away from all the people. Some called Emma antisocial, but sometimes people frustrated her to the brink of exhaustion.

Elsa was a lovely person, that could not be denied. But she was hard to coax conversation out of, at least on a night like this. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to take her to dinner, because of the news that she had received. Elsa's brother-in-law, Kristoff, was missing.

News like this made Emma hate the war even more than she already did. Poor Elsa was suffering, and despite the fact that no one close to her was fighting, Emma's disposition was suffering.

"Elsa..." she said quietly, reaching across the table to touch her friend's hand. The restaurant was loud, dance music was playing, and Elsa could barely hear her, but she responded to the touch.

"Yeah?" Elsa turned back to her, focusing her icy blue eyes on Emma.

Emma pressed her lips together. "Hey, why don't you go home. I know it's difficult for you, and you should be there for Anna."

"Are you sure? I feel so terrible for ruining our dinner..."

"I'm certain," Emma replied. "I'll be fine. I'll just stay around to pay and then I'll go straight home. And no, don't worry about money," she said quickly, stopping Elsa from digging through her handbag. "Just go home to Anna."

Elsa nodded and gave Emma a tight smile. "Thank you, you're a dear. I'll tell you if any news comes of Kristoff."

"Alright. See you soon," Emma waved goodbye and turned around, fully intending to sit down again and pay for her food. Instead, a hand grabbed her wrist and to her surprise, her hand was in that of none other than Matthew Crawley.

"Wait, what?" Emma muttered, looking up at him. "What are you doing?"

He learned down to whisper in her ear. "Just hold my hand and play along."

She raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment any further. Matthew didn't seem like the devious type, from the little she knew of him, but how could she know?"

"Oh, Lieutenant Crawley, there you are," said a girl, coming towards them. "You ran off so quickly after we danced! Care to dance again?"

Matthew swallowed. "Well, I would, but I'm afraid this lovely young woman that I'm courting is requesting that I dance with her, and I definitely don't want to dishonor her request."

The girl looked at Emma straight on and both of them let out inaudible gasps. "Emma, what on earth? I didn't know you had anyone! You were saying just a couple days ago that you thought that you were going to be alone forever."

Emma blew out a breath of both surprise and frustration. Her sister was here. Lavinia wasn't truly her sister of course, Emma had no blood family to speak of, but when the Swires had adopted her, Lavinia had instructed Emma to act like a sister, and Emma had tried, she really had. But it hadn't always been easy. "Well, I thought that too. But then I met Matthew again... We danced at Sybil's ball a couple of years ago, but we just recently met again."

"Oh, I'm glad for you. It was about time you found someone," Lavinia said flippantly. "Well, I'll leave you to do whatever courting you wish to do."

As she walked away, Emma looked up at Matthew, almost horrified.

Matthew blushed. "I'm sorry..."

"It's not a problem. It's just an, well, awkward situation," Emma said quickly, trying to deflect his embarrassment.

"I really didn't mean to mess up your relationship with her like this. How exactly are you related, anyway?"

"Lavinia's family adopted me when I was about ten. They've been good to me, but I've never quite fit in. It doesn't matter though," Emma said, lowering her eyes to the ground.

Matthew squeezed her hand, and Emma realized that they were still holding hands, despite the fact that Lavinia was far away. "Of course it matters. You should feel like you belong somewhere, to someone."

Emma smiled grimly. "Thank you for that, anyway. So you're in the army?"

"A lieutenant," Matthew explained. He shook his head, obviously uncomfortable with the topic of conversation. "I have a couple days of leave."

"And you're not spending it with your family?"

Matthew bit his lip. "I'm not exactly on good terms with some of them right now. And my mother is up in London this month, helping out with a nurse training course. So I decided to stay in London for my leave."

"Alright, I'll take that. When do you have to leave again?" Emma asked, her eyes focused on him. He was leaner than he used to be, than he was a year ago when she first met him. A year in the trenches, for all of the harm it wrought, had done his body some good. And she couldn't help but notice how blue his eyes were.

The light seemed to escape from his unnaturally blue eyes at the prospect of going back to the trenches. "In two days," he said. "I'm sorry for using you like that, but Lavinia had already asked for three dances and I really wasn't inclined to dance anymore, and I saw you and I knew who you were and so..."

"Please don't worry about it, I understand how Lavinia can be a little bit demanding. I think you might actually have to pretend to court me for a little while now, or Lavinia will never buy it."

A smile played at Matthew's lips. "I'll write to you. Will that be enough?"

"When you're in France? I think that will work perfectly fine," Emma replied, smiling. "I should pay for my food and go... Stay safe, Matthew. And I do expect you to write to me, so I can have something to show Lavinia."

Matthew took Emma's hand and squeezed it one last time. "Alright, I will. Goodbye, Emma."

As she walked away from him, she allowed herself to grin.


	3. Chapter 3

Matthew was a much better writer than her, which Emma found slightly frustrating. He initiated the letters, sending one merely days after he returned to France. She brought the letter into the quiet of her room, attempting not to admit that it was thrilling to receive a letter from a man.

_Dear Miss Swan,_

_We barely know each other, and I apologize for whatever trouble I have caused you, especially with your sister. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. I would gladly do anything to help._

_I suppose as we hardly know each other, I should introduce myself more clearly. You well know that I am Matthew Crawley, but I suppose I am as much of an enigma to you as you are to me. Unless Sybil has told you everything there is to know about me, which I wouldn't put past her. If this is simply a repeat of what Sybil has told you, I apologize for wasting your time._

_I was born in Manchester and I am 30 years old. I moved to Yorkshire to be near my family, who you probably know better as Sybil's family, because strangely enough, the entire estate is to go to me. Which is a fact that I am somewhat reluctant to disclose on a regular basis, because I am often more inclined to forge my own way in the world. But I suppose you, being friends with Sybil, are already aware of this. It seems everyone is somehow_

_I will confess that I am not very good with relationships, so forgive me if I hurt you in any way. I am reluctant to talk about the war, but it changes people. It is changing me, and I feel like a very different person than the man you met at Sybil's ball. But I hope that you can accept this, if you feel that we ought to pursue a friendship any further._

_Paper is limited here, and as such, I must conclude my letter here, but I would be grateful if you wrote back, as letters are a pleasant distraction from this world I am in._

_Sincerely, Lieutenant Matthew Crawley_

Emma read over the letter several times, each time observing a different aspect. A couple of mud stains on the paper, the shaky but still elegant handwriting, the formality of the words. She could infer that he was well educated, from his language, but that he was also uncomfortable writing to someone he barely knew. And that she understood. But she felt compelled to write back.

_Dear Lieutenant Crawley,_

_I am very glad to write to you, if I can distract you from whatever goes on over there. I really do not want to imagine that, so it's a good thing that I have no idea how. And please, no worries about Lavinia and I. Lavinia has a man now (I wouldn't say she is courting him but she seems taken) and in all honesty, she just hates looking lonely. If she got to know you, she would probably be head over heels in love, but her main motivation in finding people is looking like she has friends. She has many more friends than me but then again I am terrible at making friends._

_And apparently I am terrible at staying on topic when I write letters. Anyway, my name is Emma Swan, although my adoptive family would rather I say Emma Swire, but my last name is the only bit I have of where I came from. In all truth, I am lucky that it is even proper for me to speak to you because I was found on the side of the road as a newborn. I was taken to an orphanage and I was adopted by the Swires when I was ten, which came as a surprise, but they have been very good to me, much better than I have been to them. I just do not fit in with them._

_Other than my miserable origins I am not a very interesting person. I was a little bit of a wild teen, but nobody likes to talk about that time, and I hope you will be willing to let that slide. But as I result, I am not really a judgmental person, so maybe that will work in my favor._

_Lavinia saw me writing this letter and she asks me to say hello to you, so Lavinia says hello. And I say goodbye, at least for this letter._

_Sincerely, Emma Swan_

Matthew read the letter through in the darkness of the dugout, reveling in the words of someone who might actually care, someone who wasn't his mother. Perhaps Emma could help him. Maybe she could heal him.

And in the next months, letters were often exchanged between the two. Matthew told Emma of everyone at Downton, although Emma noticed that his description of Mary was rather hesitant, and she remembered what Sybil had told her, about Mary and Matthew.

Emma told Matthew of all the happenings in London, and complained about Lavinia often. They spoke of literature and education, of sport and song. And even though they had only met each other a few times, they felt close, as if they had known each other their whole lives.

When she received a letter from Matthew, Emma tore it open immediately, scanning the contents with excitement.

_Dear Emma,_

_I have a leave in two weeks, and I should very much like to meet you in London. Could we meet in a tearoom on the tenth at two? There are many things I would love to discuss with you._

_Sincerely, Matthew_


	4. Chapter 4

Emma sat on the bench is the park, smoothing down her hair constantly and watching. It was unlike her to get this excited for a meeting, but she had felt a connection with him, in a way she had never felt. And hope was a dangerous thing, but it only grew more powerful within her.

Their conversation the day before in the tearoom had been nothing special, but it was lovely to be reacquainted with the man she knew so well and yet not at all.

Her head immediately perked up when out of the corner of her eye, she saw a uniform and a head of bright blond hair. It was him, and he was quickly approaching her.

"You're here!" she said excitedly. "Why were you so late?"

His eyes flickered downward. "Sleep is hard to come by in France, I'm hardly awake as it is. I only woke an hour ago and I rushed as quickly as I could to get here. I'm very sorry."

"Don't be," she reassured. "I'm not the most sympathetic person in the world, but I can understand a need for sleep."

"Shall we take a stroll around the park?" he asked, holding out his hand for her to take.

Surprised at the easy gesture he made, she hesitantly took his hand and smiled at his as brightly as she could, her pounding emotions contrasting with her outward ease. He was so casual, and they had only met twice before. But then again, she felt like she knew him, thanks to their letters. "Why not," she replied.

"I feel like I know you much better than I probably do," Matthew began, speaking aloud Emma's exact thoughts. "I'm sorry if I make you feel uncomfortable."

"No, not at all!" Emma said fervently. She enjoyed the contact, and there was no discomfort with him. He was so respectful and after past experiences, a respectful man was definitely a desire that Emma harbored.

Matthew nodded. He seemed slightly nervous, at a closer glance, but Emma decided to ignore it. "I'm glad. I'm glad to have met you, because I've really enjoyed getting to know you." He smiled tightly, and squeezed Emma's hand. Emma relished the contact. "I've felt like I've...been between earth and hell in a sense, and you...you've kept me on earth."

"Well it's good I've been able to do something useful. It would be a first," Emma sighed.

"You've been more than useful. I really needed someone like you, a savior of sorts, and...I still need someone like you," he said, almost choking up at the words. His grip on her hand grew tighter but Emma didn't mind. "I truly need you still, and I know we hardly know each other and it's unconventional but..."

"Matthew, what on earth are you talking about?" Emma interrupted, her heart pounding too fast for thought.

He shook his head. "I'm doing this horribly, of course I am. I'm sorry, I doubt this is the way you thought it would happen but, well..."

Emma's eyes widened in realization and met his. "You can't... Is this real?"

"I know it's rushed but I don't know if I have time and well..."

She smiled and squeezed his hand back, tears beginning to pool in the corners of her eyes. "Go on. Don't be afraid."

"Emma Swan, what I've been trying to say is, will you marry me?"


End file.
